There's a thing about cocaine - when I was doing it secretly, it didn't make me very sociable. I forget how others were, but it made me very inner-directed. So being in a sketch and rehearsing and the "hail fellow well met" camaraderie and all that stuff, I couldn't fake that or force that. It was painful.

I think religion is very anti-man. I think it's a terrible distortion and exploitation of a very natural urge every human has - to be rejoined with the one somehow, to become a part of the universe. Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.

If a painting can be forged well enough to fool experts, why is the original so valuable?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke.

I suspect there really was more to my accident than bad luck. I think it was God's way of punishing my nose.