I use the word 'fat'. I use that word because that's what people are: they're fat. They're not bulky; they're not large, chunky, hefty or plump. And they're not big-boned. Dinosaurs were big-boned. These people are not overweight: this term somehow implies there is some correct weight... There is no correct weight. Heavy is also a misleading term. An aircraft carrier is heavy; it's not fat. Only people are fat, and that's what fat people are! They're fat !

Suppose I could shoot myself in the mouth, but what if I miss? People will laugh at me.

Do you remember Barbara Bush? I call her the silver douchebag.

'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.

The phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives.

There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.