Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.

Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.

There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.

Religion is a self-conferred intellectual decision; it's not something you get at birth and is unchangeable. You're collusive with the religion when you accept it; you have a choice.

There are battered husbands. Apparently this happens when the woman is real big, the man is very small, and they each drink a quart of whiskey a day.

When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?

No one has to come see my shows who doesn't like me talking about white Christians. They are free not buy a ticket. They're free to leave at any time. So I'm not imposing anything on anyone. Therefore I feel free to cross the line.