It was the typical paranoid experience [to hide coke]. As soon as I knew my hiding place, I thought the whole world knew it. I'd write clues to my hiding places in code, then forget the code and spend the rest of the day looking for my coke.

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

For a while, I thought of myself as an atheist until I realized it was a belief, too. It's a shame everything has to have a label.

Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.

In some hotels they give you a little sewing kit. You know what I do? I sew the towels together. One time I sewed a button on a lampshade. I like to leave a mark.

No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you're screwed because it's all fixed and rigged. There is a club and you ain't in it.

It's harder to be funny from the position of power.