There's some invisible guy, up in the sky, who can kill you, because he loves you.

It's way beyond ironic that a place called the Holy Land is the location of the fiercest, most deeply felt hatred in the world. And it makes for wonderful theater.

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.

Regarding local residents attempting to ban sex shops from their neighborhoods: You show me a parent who says he's worried about his child's innocence and I'll show you a homeowner trying to maintain equity.

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

If people stand in a circle long enough, they'll eventually begin to dance.

The secretiveness. The stealth. Those were obviously the aspects of cocaine use I was addicted to.