I'm 63 now. But that's just 17 Celsius.

I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don't trust any organization that has a handbook.

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

I have this real moron thing I do? It's called thinking.

Because we were a poor area, the school had a small budget and was unable to teach the second half of the alphabet.

I was a class clown, of the classic term for it. I would get the work done easily, and then I would try to deprive other people of their educations. I developed skills for mimicry, and I was a good showoff. I knew how to get attention, and I knew how to do it in a positive funny way.

Griddle cakes, pancakes, hot cakes, flapjacks: why are there four names for grilled batter and only one word for love?