The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.

Weather tonight: dark. Turning partly light by morning.

Do you remember Barbara Bush? I call her the silver douchebag.

I don't understand why prostitution is illegal, Selling is legal, f***ing is legal. So why isn't it legal to sell f***ing? Why should it be illegal to sell something that's legal to give away?

I hope we're not just human garbage drifting toward a big sewer. But I think so.

Children should be taught to question everything . . . everything they read and everything they hear.

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?