The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.

Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.

Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.

How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?

The secretiveness. The stealth. Those were obviously the aspects of cocaine use I was addicted to.

Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.

Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.