One philosopher has rightly said that property is theft. But I'd like to use my future ownership of property to give something back.

My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.

And now gay people want to get married... Haven't they suffered enough?

The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what I’m left with is the memory of having learned something very wise that I can’t quite remember.

Tits always look better in a pink sweater.

And now, in the interest of equal time, here is a message from the National

You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.