When I was young I used to read about the decline of Western civilization, and I decided it was something I would like to make a contribution to.

Somehow I enjoy watching people suffer.

Praying is begging for an unseen deity to alter the laws of nature for someone admittedly unworthy.

Mother's milk leads to everything.

Sometimes a fireman will go to great strenuous lengths to save a raccoon that's stuck in a drainpipe and then go out on the weekend and kill several of them for amusement.

If I ever lose my mind I hope some honest person will find it and take it to Lost and Found.

In the doggie dictionary, under "bow wow" it says, "See "arf arf.""