If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
George CarlinSuddenly, I was thirty, very unhappy entertaining people in their forties, and here came a group of people in their teens and twenties who had similar anti-authority problems and similar dreams and wishes, hopes for mankind. So I gravitated toward them.
George CarlinI'm not collegial, I don't hang out. I'm soloist, I like my solitude, I don't really hang around with comedians.
George CarlinI don't know how you feel, but I'm pretty sick of church people. You know what they ought to do with churches? Tax them. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate.
George Carlin