Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.

Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?

If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?

If a piece requires some specific inflection, I'll record it. I take a lot of notes, and later categorize them, combining them alongside existing ideas, and eventually put a piece together.

Because we were a poor area, the school had a small budget and was unable to teach the second half of the alphabet.

Sometimes when I'm told to use my own discretion, if no one is looking I'll use someone else's. But I always put it back.

Soft rock music isn't rock, and it ain't music. It's just soft. Reminds me of something my third-grade teacher said to us. She said, "You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala."