Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

The Christians are coming to get you, and they are not pleasant people.

Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.

That invisible hand of Adam Smith seems to offer an extended middle finger to an awful lot of people.

When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person.

I, myself, have killed six people. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And, let me tell you, there's nothin' like it. It's a great feeling. Yeah, I know, you're thinking. 'Aw, he's a comedian. He's just sayin' that stuff.' Good. That's exactly what I want you to think.