I don't care much about the outcome. I'd like for people to feel better and have better lives, but I don't think that's in the cards through political action. I think bloodshed is still the way you get dramatic change. That'll never happen because they've got all the guns now. At least they've got the nice guns, the big ones, the ones with night vision.

First I was a mimic. Practically from the moment I began talking, I did impersonations of the people in my neighborhood - the storekeepers, the policemen, my teachers.

There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.

Geologists claim that although the world is running out of oil, there is still a 200-hundred-year supply of brake fluid.

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.

Looking back, I realize that my life has been a series of incidents where one person has said to another, "Get this asshole outta here!"

If drumsticks are for playing drums, you would think that breadsticks would be for playing bread, wouldn't you? "Would you like some breadsticks?" "No, thank you, I don't play bread. I play drums. Perhaps I'll have a drum roll."