The bloodiest, most brutal wars fought, all based on religious hatred. Which is fine with me! Any time a bunch of holy people want to go out and kill each other I'm a happy guy!
George CarlinWhen you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
George CarlinNo matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you're screwed because it's all fixed and rigged. There is a club and you ain't in it.
George CarlinThere are some people that aren't into all the words. There are some people who would have you not use certain words. Yeah, there are 400,000 words in the English language, and there are seven of them that you can't say on television. What a ratio that is. 399,993 to seven. They must really be bad. They'd have to be outrageous, to be separated from a group that large. All of you over here, you seven. Bad words. That's what they told us they were, remember? 'That's a bad word.' You know bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions.
George Carlin