You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.

Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body

The bloodiest, most brutal wars fought, all based on religious hatred. Which is fine with me! Any time a bunch of holy people want to go out and kill each other I'm a happy guy!

We are all precancerous.

When you start in the childhood period, when you begin to form a comic sense, it was the radio comedians - from the last days of radio and the first days of television. And Spike Jones. And the Marx Brothers. They represented anarchy. They took things that were nice and decent and proper, and they tore them to shreds. That attracted me.

I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.