You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.

Geologists claim that although the world is running out of oil, there is still a 200-hundred-year supply of brake fluid.

Somewhere in the world is a doctor who is worse than all other doctors...and someone has an appointment with him in the morning.

... the important thing is to, first of all, question everything you read or hear or see or are told. Question it, and try to see the world for what it actually is, as opposed to what someone or some company or some organization or some government is trying to represent it as, or present it as, however they've mislabeled it or dressed it up or told you.

So I live in Los Angeles, and it's kind of a goofy place. They have an airport named after John Wayne. That ought to explain it. It has a charming kind of superstitious innocence.

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.