Your dog thinks you're a god. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole.
Soft rock music isn’t rock, and it ain’t music. It’s just soft.
Tonight's forecast: DARK. Continued mostly dark tonight, turning to wildly scattered light in the morning
Think of how strange we'd look if all the cuts, burns, scrapes, bruises, scratches, bumps, gashes, and scabs we ever had suddenly reappeared on our bodies at the same time.
Tits always look better in a pink sweater.
Being a Dodgers fan led to my first Air Force court-martial, but that's another story.