One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

I don't understand the problem with paroling Charles Manson? I say set him free and let him get on with his work. I have a long list of celebrities I'd be glad to share with him.

Mother's milk leads to everything.

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.

Barry Goldwater has definitely decided to be a candidate in '64. He will campaign in all thirteen states.

When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

Y'ever notice how you never seem to get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it's because all the coats are on the bed.