I know many married men, I even know a few happily married men, but I don't know one who wouldn't fall down the first open coal hole running after the first pretty girl who gave him a wink.

It may be said that artist and censor differ in this wise: that the first is a decent mind in an indecent body and that the second is an indecent mind in a decent body.

The Russian dramatist is one who, walking through a cemetery, does not see the flowers on the graves. The American dramatist . . . Does not see the graves under the flowers.

Politics is the diversion of trivial men who, when they succeed at it, become important in the eyes of more trivial men.

In the theatre, a hero is one who believes that all women are ladies, a villain one who believes that all ladies are women.

Bad officials are the ones elected by good citizens who do not vote.

The path of sound credence is through the thick forest of skepticism.