A lot of people who claim they're political comedians are just comedians who have opinions. But they stop being funny the minute they give their opinions.

I predict one of these two teams will win the Super Bowl.

I'm one of those people, in any country I'm in, if somebody could just put me in a car or a bus, I'll look out the window and say, 'OK, there's the Tower of London, there's Buckingham Palace, there's Big Ben,' and if it all takes about five minutes, perfect. I've seen all of it and I can go home.

My Bubbie lived to 104, which is probably a little too old to consider a ripe old age, because she had already started to turn. I still say she died young.

I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time.

I'm used to explaining to people why my jokes were funny.

With Katrina, it's almost like the sequel that doesn't live up to the original. It's certainly a shocking event and a tragedy, but somehow as a big event it doesn't seem to carry as much weight with the public as 9/11 did.