I guess if they ever do a remake of 'Sophie's Choice,' I could play the Meryl Streep part. I've got to work on my Polish accent. Maybe I'll be the definitive King Lear one day. You know, if they ever feel that King Lear should be more Jewy.

I'm one of those people that picks up the remote control and just keep hitting constantly, even if I like the show I'm watching.

Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway.

I would show up at a party for Al Qaeda if you said there's going to be a dinner.

I find Washington audiences are basically the same as every other audience; they watch me and go, 'Who's idea was it to go see him? And is it too late to ask for my money back?'

If I could cause world peace by taking someone out to lunch, I'd go, 'Well, war isn't that terrible.'

The 'Phoenix Sun' did a list of the unsexiest men in the world, and I made it to number one. I beat out Bin Laden. He's a terrorist, hasn't bathed in months. I beat him out. To me it was a great honor.