At the Last Supper how come no one sat on the other side of the table? See, I think originally there were people sitting on the other side but those were the people going, You know, the air conditioning hits me right on the back on the neck.

What do Japanese Jews love to eat? Hebrew National Tsunami.

I'd like to have a kid, but I'd probably get a Frank Sinatra Jr. instead of a Gilbert Gottfried Jr. I'd totally screw up like that.

I'm used to explaining to people why my jokes were funny.

The joy of the roasts is to watch people get hurt and offended, and then have to laugh to pretend they're a good sport.

I'm known for my slightly inappropriate remarks.

People have many theories about comedy, but being just plain funny is the one most important thing.