At the Last Supper how come no one sat on the other side of the table? See, I think originally there were people sitting on the other side but those were the people going, You know, the air conditioning hits me right on the back on the neck.

I think a lot of people have too much time on their hands.

A lot of people who claim they're political comedians are just comedians who have opinions. But they stop being funny the minute they give their opinions.

I think of Alan Thicke as Perry Como without the excitement.

With me, traveling for work is arriving at the airport, checking into the hotel, leaving the hotel the next morning at 4 or 5 to do something like 'The Jimmy and Jackie Captain Crazy Morning Zoo,' doing a bunch of those in a row, then going back to the hotel, and then finally going to the club.

With the Internet, if you erase something it just means you have to spend another half-minute to find it.

Reality TV has totally destroyed soap operas. They're gone. They used to be the biggest thing in the world - they're gone.