I'm used to explaining to people why my jokes were funny.

I found out about Jonathan Winters death a day after it happened. That seems wrong. A talent like his should be more revered. The world knew about Kim Kardashians divorce before she did.

What do Japanese Jews love to eat? Hebrew National Tsunami.

Nothing can help my comedy.

I'm terrible when I have to fill up free time. My days, if I'm not working, I wake up and figure out a way to kill time until it's time to go to sleep.

I understand being less sexy than Osama bin Laden, but not less sexy than Carrot Top. That, I find offensive.

I personally think Miles Davis is a lot funnier than me. And he's working more.