I'm used to explaining to people why my jokes were funny.

One pleasant surprise was when I interviewed Butch Patrick. I was expecting this bitter old drunk, and instead he had a total sense of humor about his career and his drinking and drug problem.

The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever.

I just split up with my girlfriend, but like the Japanese say, “They’ll be another one floating by any minute now.”

I personally think Miles Davis is a lot funnier than me. And he's working more.

A man goes to the doctor for a check, and the doctor exams him and says I've got bad news, you've got cancer and alzheimers. The man goes Thank god I don't have cancer.

I sincerely apologize to anyone who was offended by my attempt at humor regarding the tragedy in Japan. I meant no disrespect, and my thoughts are with the victims and their families.