If the police ever try to pick me up, Michael Jackson told me I can hide out at his house.

At the Last Supper how come no one sat on the other side of the table? See, I think originally there were people sitting on the other side but those were the people going, You know, the air conditioning hits me right on the back on the neck.

When you watch Robin Williams, you can see a lot of Jonathan Winters. Robin is the first one to admit that; he worshiped Jonathan Winters.

You never know what people will choose to be offended by.

I was the class podiatrist. I never made it to class clown. I wasn't funny enough. I would examine feet and prescribe and ointment. It was a sad childhood.

I think a lot of people have too much time on their hands.

There definitely is exposure in reality shows, but the exposure will basically get you more reality shows.