The joy of the roasts is to watch people get hurt and offended, and then have to laugh to pretend they're a good sport.
Gilbert GottfriedMy Bubbie lived to 104, which is probably a little too old to consider a ripe old age, because she had already started to turn. I still say she died young.
Gilbert GottfriedIf I could cause world peace by taking someone out to lunch, I'd go, 'Well, war isn't that terrible.'
Gilbert GottfriedIf you have the Old Testament at home, if you flip the corner pages, you can see Jesus riding a horse.
Gilbert Gottfried