A lot of people who claim they're political comedians are just comedians who have opinions. But they stop being funny the minute they give their opinions.
Gilbert GottfriedI always feel that most political jokes, if you're going to do them, you have to do them within the next five minutes, or else they're outdated. By the time you've got it to the point that it's strong, it would be 12 years old.
Gilbert GottfriedAny misfortune that happens to another person is funny. If it happens to someone else and not me, it's very funny.
Gilbert GottfriedEvery time I give a straight answer and read it in a magazine, I say, 'Ouch.' One day I'd like to talk to a psychoanalyst about why celebrities reveal so much of themselves in interviews.
Gilbert GottfriedYou can say "ass," but you can't say "asshole." That's why I always cringe when a character in a TV show refers to someone as an "ass." Unless you're British, calling someone an ass really doesn't work. But those are the rules of television. You can be a dirtbag, but not a scumbag.
Gilbert Gottfried