If I could cause world peace by taking someone out to lunch, I'd go, 'Well, war isn't that terrible.'

I was talking to Jesus, and I said, Jesus, I feel like no one will ever accept me. And Jesus looked at me and said, You know what my theory is? Accept me or go to hell.

Every time I give a straight answer and read it in a magazine, I say, 'Ouch.' One day I'd like to talk to a psychoanalyst about why celebrities reveal so much of themselves in interviews.

I'm a very anti-vacation person. Because I'm always getting on planes for work, to me, a vacation is when I don't have to get on a plane.

Nothing can help my comedy.

Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway.

If someone says that I'm the best at anything, I always just agree with them. I'm certainly not gonna argue.