If I could cause world peace by taking someone out to lunch, I'd go, 'Well, war isn't that terrible.'

I have always felt comedy and tragedy are roommates. If you look up comedy and tragedy, you will find a very old picture of two masks. One mask is tragedy. It looks like its crying. The other mask is comedy. It looks like its laughing. Nowadays, we would say, How tasteless and insensitive. A comedy mask is laughing at a tragedy mask.

I'm a very anti-vacation person. Because I'm always getting on planes for work, to me, a vacation is when I don't have to get on a plane.

A lot of people who claim they're political comedians are just comedians who have opinions. But they stop being funny the minute they give their opinions.

I've done a lot of Fox shows since then - Married with Children, Living Single and a whole bunch of other Fox things.

I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.

I always try to avoid anything that has to do with my life.