My buddy Tom... he'd been chasing a girl for two years, and he got her the old-fashioned way - dates and listening.

Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.

The reason it's so painful when someone disappears is you have to face the fact that the person you loved had probably left you a long time before he grabbed his coat and scrammed.

I will go anywhere if you say the phrase 'there might be cake.' I would go to the Department of Motor Vehicles, register somebody else's boat in Spanish, a language I do not speak, without ID - for cake.

...you are defined by how you live your life, not whom you live it with, and certainly not by what you gave up to be with that person.

Can you deep fry the bacon? Oh how I wish you would.

Drinking, eating, shopping, revenge, rebound sex, drugs or whatever your poison may be will number the pain - but that's all.