I like the idea that when a guy comes over to the house, I get to say I wrote the book.

Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.)

First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend

The only reason he can miss you is because he’s choosing, every day, not to be with you.

It is in that moment, when you really lay down your cards and see the relationship for what it was, that you'll find the freedom to kick it in the ass and let it go.

I will go anywhere if you say the phrase 'there might be cake.' I would go to the Department of Motor Vehicles, register somebody else's boat in Spanish, a language I do not speak, without ID - for cake.

Young people are gross with their faces and their hope.