Here's something else to think about: calling when you say you're going to is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust. If he can't lay this one stupid brick down, you ain't never gonna have a house baby, and it's cold outside.

I don't have to edit myself. I get to be me, warts and all, and that's ultimately what people want, and to trust each other implicitly.

When it comes to men, deal with them as they are, not how you’d like them to be.

Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.

I have less friends, but I have more Cadbury Eggs.

I always tell people it's funny that they think I'm a relationship expert because my two books are about getting out of relationships.

I love to eat. That's why I got so fat; I love to eat. If I don't walk away from a meal hurting, I didn't do it right. If I don't walk away from Thanksgiving dinner feeling like I've been turkey-f**ked in a gingerbread prison, I didn't do it right.