I have less friends, but I have more Cadbury Eggs.

I'm fascinated with human relationships. I advocate the relationship you have with yourself.

Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.

I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.

If he's not calling you, it's because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn't follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he's okay with disappointing you.

Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.

There's a guy out there who will want to tell everyone that he is your boyfriend. Quit goofing around and go find him.