When a guy is into you, he lets you know it. He calls, he shows up, he wants to meet your friends, he can't keep his eyes or hands off of you.

We have become a sloppy bunch of people. We say things we don’t mean. We make promises we don’t keep.

He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.

People don't admire you for what you hate, they admire you for what you do about it, and your slacks.

Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.

I'm certain prison is pretty rough as it is but imagine if you were a murderer and a foodie!

I get giddy with the idea of stringing words together that make people laugh.