How many presidents, do you think, ever said to another guy: 'I can't believe we're doing this in the White House'?

I like the idea that when a guy comes over to the house, I get to say I wrote the book.

I want you to be yourself, but not with other dudes.

A man would rather be trampled by elephants on fire than tell you he's just not that into you.

Cheating gets easier every time it's done. It's only hard the first time, when one feels the sting of morality and the guilt of betraying someone's trust.

People don't admire you for what you hate, they admire you for what you do about it, and your slacks.

As a guy I never liked being told to call, which my wife really never does, and that's why I call her as often as I do.