My wife's beautiful. That's why I married her. Because I want to see her every day.

If you date, you will meet your share of weirdos and jerks. That is as sure as death and taxes.

Wasting time in a relationship that blows is just that - wasted time.

So, I play in a band. It's a really underground band. Super underground. Very underground. Like, we don't even actually play.

Part of me also knows that this generation is the least racist and most pro-gay, so that's great. But they have a real lack of gravitas. And they have no taste in music. Vampire Weekend? Can we play some music, please? Can we rock out for a minute? Where's your Metallica?

Because here’s what guys don’t do if they can’t live without you: They don’t break up with you.

I always tell people it's funny that they think I'm a relationship expert because my two books are about getting out of relationships.