An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of 'ruining the friendship.

I love to eat. That's why I got so fat; I love to eat. If I don't walk away from a meal hurting, I didn't do it right. If I don't walk away from Thanksgiving dinner feeling like I've been turkey-f**ked in a gingerbread prison, I didn't do it right.

Part of me also knows that this generation is the least racist and most pro-gay, so that's great. But they have a real lack of gravitas. And they have no taste in music. Vampire Weekend? Can we play some music, please? Can we rock out for a minute? Where's your Metallica?

Often the thought of pain is actually worse that the pain itself.

I always tell people it's funny that they think I'm a relationship expert because my two books are about getting out of relationships.

I'm fascinated with human relationships. I advocate the relationship you have with yourself.

Because here’s what guys don’t do if they can’t live without you: They don’t break up with you.