There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.

I could dance with you till the cows come home. Better still, I'll dance with the cows and you come home." Groucho Marx was never one to pass up an opportunity for a play on words and this occurs in his dialogue of the 1933 film Duck Soup.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.

You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.