There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

But what makes wage slaves? Wages!

Hello, I must be going.

While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.