There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy

Die, my dear? Why that's the last thing I'll do!

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of bandages and adhesive tape.

I hate London when it's not raining.

Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we ought to have?