Women should be obscene, not heard.

I've met a lot of pin-up girls, but I've never been able to pin one down

Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house.

Poverty makes people sub-human Excess of wealth makes people inhuman

When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth"

Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.

Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t make you happy and this is undeniably true, but everything else being equal, it’s a lovely thing to have around the house.