The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
The only real laughter comes from despair.
I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy
I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
I'll teach you to kick me...' You don't need to teach me--I already know how!
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of bandages and adhesive tape.