In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake.

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.

Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.

If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.