Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.
If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham.
Do you mind if I don't smoke?