I would never join a country club with standards so low as to allow me as a member.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it

If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor.

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.