Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
Mr.Blank's reputation as a card shark had preceded him. No one accused him of being dishonest, but on the other hand no one accused him of being honest.
Here lies Groucho Marx and Lies and Lies and Lies P.S. He never kissed an ugly girl.
Every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.