Wages? You want to be wage slaves? Answer me that! Of course not. What is it that makes wage slaves? Wages! I want you to be free. Strike off your chains! Strike up the band! Strike three you're out! Remember, there's nothing like Liberty, except Colliers and The Saturday Evening Post. Be free, now and forever. One and individual. One for all and all for me, and tea for two and six for a quarter.

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!

Here lies Groucho Marx and Lies and Lies and Lies P.S. He never kissed an ugly girl.

Sir, are you trying to offer me a bribe? How much

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.