Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.