Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.

Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.

With a little study you'll go a long ways, and I wish you'd start now