Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood

I love to read. My education is self-inflicted

Budget: a way of going broke methodically

Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.