Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

I hope they bury me near a strait man

Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while

I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar.