Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.

Every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.

When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth"

Don't let the fear of the thorn keep you from the rose.

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.