I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's.

Hello, I must be going.

Two women at a resort discussed dinner: "The food here is lousy," the first noted. "You're right! And such small portions!!" the second added

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Celebrate the cracks, because that's how the light comes in.

Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket

One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!