Hey you! I told you to slow that nag down! Because of you, I almost heard the opera!

If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.

I could dance with you till the cows come home. Better still, I'll dance with the cows and you come home." Groucho Marx was never one to pass up an opportunity for a play on words and this occurs in his dialogue of the 1933 film Duck Soup.

With the possible exception of clothes, beauty salons and Frank Sinatra, there are few subjects all women agree upon.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.