There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.

You're only as young as the woman you feel.

Hey you! I told you to slow that nag down! Because of you, I almost heard the opera!

I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's.

A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.

With a little study you'll go a long ways, and I wish you'd start now

I hate London when it's not raining.