Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face

TV is the rat race of the century.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.