When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun.'

Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.

I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.

The Arab and the camel are inseparable. It's been said that and Arab would give up his wife rather than give up his camel. Personally, I haven't got a camel, but I think it's a great idea.

Growing old is something you do if you're lucky.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.