It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.

I was born at a very early age. Before I had time to regret it, I was four and a half years old.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of bandages and adhesive tape.

Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot. I implore you, send him back to his father and brothers, who are waiting for him with open arms in the penitentiary. I suggest that we give him ten years in Leavenworth, or eleven years in Twelveworth.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.