One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!

If he's been married for 31 years, he's not the same man.

I hope they bury me near a strait man

Every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something.

I hate London when it's not raining.

My brother thinks he's a chicken-We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs