One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!

Anyone buying this book is going to be out a tidy sum if he is sucked in by the title. I wish I could write a real sexy book that would be barred from the mails. Apparently nothing whets a reader's appetite for literature more than the news that the author has been thrown into a federal pokey for disturbing the libido of millions of Americans.

Here lies Groucho Marx and Lies and Lies and Lies P.S. He never kissed an ugly girl.

There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.

The only game I like to play is "Old Maid", providing she's not too old

The admission fee was a viper's tongue and a half-concealed stiletto. It was a sort of intellectual slaughterhouse.

Two women at a resort discussed dinner: "The food here is lousy," the first noted. "You're right! And such small portions!!" the second added