Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you.

I started smoking as soon as I went on the stage. I'd make cigars out of the Morning World when I was a kid.

Blood's not thicker than money.

It isn't so much that hard times are coming; the change observed is mostly soft times going.

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something.

Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!